I’m taking a break from the regularly scheduled program to talk to you today about expectations. But more importantly, mom expectations. As moms, we have certain expectations we have to obtain in order for our home, family, marriage, work and self to run smoothly. When we don’t live up to those expectations the house can get trashed, laundry can start piling up, dinner isn’t ready for the kids, our spouse is feeling like chop liver, work is less than par and so on, and so on. You get the picture.
But who is making these expectations for us? The answer is super simple. We are. We, as mamas, are making and creating these expectations in our heads of what we need to do around the house, how we need to act with our kids, how our marriages or relationships are supposed to look, what we’re supposed to be doing at work and, most importantly, how we treat ourselves. Most women, myself included, create so much extra work for themselves because that is what they feel needs to be done to have a house that looks like the pictures on social media or the perfect marriage or to be the PERFECT parent. 😕
I love social media! It’s awesome! But it also can be so harmful to mothers. When we see how other moms are doing things differently than us and it looks better than what we’re doing we are obviously going to start doubting ourselves and our abilities and that’s not right.
Us mamas are causing so much extra stress and anxiety for ourselves and we don’t even see it. It effects all aspects of our lives and can be so detrimental. It didn’t occur to me, until recently after talking to a friend about how I was feeling and what I’d been doing, that I was one of these moms who was just fueling the fire; the fire of stress. It sucks to get called out. It sucks to have to listen to a friend tell you that you just need to stop trying to do so much. It just plain sucks!
If you are a mom, like me, who doesn’t like to sit still, always feels like there’s something to be done and gets distracted by everything in your home than know that you are not alone. I have learned that there are bigger fish to fry and more important things to worry about than how clean my house is (that no one sees on a regular basis, other than my kids and husband), if the laundry is clean, folded and put away or if the blankets are folded and on the couch (instead of in a pile on the floor).
Things that have helped me are: reading my devotional every morning, turning to Pinterest for my inspirational/motivational words, talking to friends about my feelings and ultimately have a talk with myself about whether my actions are truly necessary or if they can wait for another time or day.
It definitely takes a lot of diligence, practice and self discipline. Things don’t really become habit unless you do them consecutively for 20 days so in order to change to your stress free self you need to practice some self love and self grace. Giving yourself as much grace as possible is important because at the end of the day you are one person; you can’t do everything nor should you expect yourself to do everything. Just make sure to take care of yourself, however that might be (I like putting on an outfit, doing my hair and makeup and of course showering) and enjoying the time you have with your kids, spouse and friends.
Enjoy your week friends and I hope this helps one of you to lighten your load and SEE the very most important things in your life. ♥♥♥ Good luck mamas!